Three days ago I submitted my resignation letter.
Not because I hated my job (ok, I hope it could be more exciting and more financially rewarding).
Nor did I have a better offers from other companies (I wasnt even applying).
I resigned to be a full-time mommy to Sofia.
Since December I didnt have a full-time nanny to look after my daughter. Back then it wasn't a problem since we (my husband, daughter and I) were still staying with my parents. Lola (grandmother) can always look after her little darling apo (grandchild). I was assured that my daughter is well taken care of.
Fastforward to February and still no nanny. It also didnt help that we moved out to a new place closer to my husband's work. There were days when my mom drops by the condo and stay with S while I am at work. Other days I bring her with me to the office (yes, I am lucky that our company allows us to bring our kids with us). Other days I file a leave and stay with her at home.
Everything was too taxing for everyone, especially for S. I need to wake her up before 7am so we can get early to office and then leave early as well. In the office, she has to brave the cold aircon and the boredom. When she gets sleepy, she had to sleep on my lap. Very tiring for a little girl.
Everyone was asking why dont I get a nanny. I tried and it's so hard to find a competent one that will give your child the outmost care and love like a parent would do. It would have been different if we were still staying with my parents where I am assured that someone can oversee what the nanny is doing. I am forever haunted by horror stories and videos like this that leaving my child alone with the nanny for 8-10 hrs per day will be a good idea at all.
Resigning is not easy. This will mean being financially dependent on my husband (goodbye unaudited shopping!). I can also say goodbye to a fast-flying career that I had once dreamed of.
But this will mean more time with Sofia. Seeing her smiles everyday and seeing her grow would be as rewarding as having a career. I may have missed alot of her milestones in the last 2 years I've been working fulltime. I may not get back those opportunities to see her firsts again but at least I'm here to see what's coming.